No Easy Answers: Seeking a Path of
Integrity
In 19th century Baghdad, a group of
students turned to their teacher with a question, seeking guidance on one of
the most elusive human dilemmas: when is it justified to lie?
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Question: We know that deceiving is a grievous act,
so much so that deceivers are said to “not see the face of the shekhina”
(divine presence).
Yet we also know that at times it is justified to
deceive, as the Rabbis taught that “it is permissible to fib in the interest
of peace”…
Now there are many occasions when a person could
find justification to lie and to justify it as being in the interest of
peace… Therefore we ask our teacher to instruct us in other situations in
which it is justified to lie, so that we shall recognize the right path to
take, and may your reward be multiplied by the heavens.
Responsa Torah
Lishma #364, Iraq 19th Century.
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מצינו בענין
השקר
שהוא
חמור
מאוד
והוא
מארבע
כיתות
וכו'
ומצינו
שנעשה
בו
היתר
לפעמים
שאמרו
רז"ל
מותר
לשנות
מפני
דרכי
השלום... והנה יזדמן
כמה
עניינים
שהאדם
יוכל
לעשות
להם
היתר
לשנות
בהם
ולתלות
ההיתר
משום
דרכי
השלום
... על
כן
יגיד
לנו
מורנו
אופנים
אחרים
שיש
בהם
היתר
לשנות
כדי
שנדע
את
הדרך
אשר
נלך
בו
ושכמ"ה.
(שו"ת תורה
לשמה סימן שסד)
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Striving to lead a life of truth, one confronts this question
constantly, in various iterations: Should I tell this “white lie” in the
interest of peace? Was it right to avoid the truth that time? Do I forsake
peace and order for the sake of speaking truth to power? Should I stick by
the rules or can I play dirty for the sake of a greater cause?
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Writ large, this dilemma touches upon
the question of civil disobedience (Occupy anywhere), of how much governments
should tell their people (Wikileaks), of legal deals settled in back rooms in
the interest of “moving forward” (Judge Rakoff vs. the SEC-Citibank
settlement), or nations preventing full
democratic rights from the people in the interest of peace (hello, Egypt).
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Yaakov and Lavan, the heroes of this
week’s parsha, VaYetze, are the paradigms of this dilemma. Lavan goes down in
Jewish memory as the paradigm of the deceitful, untrustworthy “other.” He
tricks Yaakov by giving him Leah and swindles him from the profits of
shepherding.
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But our Yaakov himself is the
paradigm of uncomfortable Jewish stereotypes: the
runaway-victim-cum-sneaky-businessman, the master of deceit whose tricks get
played right back at him. Yaakov literally means “Heel/Sneak,” and the end of
this week’s parsha sees him sneaking off with Lavan’s daughters and flocks
back to Canaan.
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Back to our Iraqi students and their dilemma: They are
hoping for clear guidelines: when is it justified to lie, and when is it not.
In between the lines
of their question, you can hear that more than a fear of the consequences of
lying, they are afraid of themselves, of the power of their sharp minds to
justify any situation under the rubric of: “it is OK to fib in the interest
of peace”.
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The teacher on the other side of the
question was the leader of the Iraqi Jewish community, and perhaps the
greatest sage of Arabian Jewry in the 19th century, Rabbi Yosef Chayim,
aka the “Ben Ish Chai”(son of a living man). Unfortunately, he offers no easy
solutions:
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Answer: To produce before you my own understanding
of the exact iterations where it is justified to lie – that I will not do!
Rather I will
quote the stories where this dilemma is brought up in the Talmud, and you
will learn directly from them.
And so I shall begin:
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המצאות של אופנים
שיש בהם היתר לא אעשה לכם מדעתי בדבר זה ורק אביא לכם אופנים הנזכרים בתלמוד ואתם
תלמדו מהם וזה החלי בעזר האל צורי וגואלי.
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The Ben Ish Chai then quotes 45 (!)
scenarios of lying and deceit from Rabbinic texts (read them all – in Aramaic
- here).
He concludes by saying:
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I have now set before you a table full
of the various iterations about lying and deceit mentioned in Rabbinical
texts that are justified. And you must be punctilious
in learning these scenarios yourself, and logically deduce one thing from
another. Only keep the fear of God on your
face: do not create leniencies for yourself beyond the bounds through remote
analogies. And this is sufficient guidance – may it bring peace.
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הרי סדרתי לכם שלחן מלא כמה אופנים בענין השקר וגניבת
דעת הנזכרים בדברי רז"ל להיתרא ואתם תדקדקו בכל דבר ודבר ותלמדו דבר מתוך
דבר אך תשימו יראת ה' על פניכם לבלתי תעשו קולות חוץ מן השורה בדמיון דחוק... ודי בזה, והיה זה שלום. ואל שדי ה' צבאות יעזור לי. כ"ד הקטן יחזקאל כחלי נר"ו.
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What I find fascinating about this
obscure responsa is the way the Ben Ish Chai refuses to delineate exact guidelines
for navigating this dilemma. The Ben Ish Chai is “setting the table” for his
students, not spoon feeding them. In a Halakhic tradition that is often quick
to seek higher authorities to tell people exactly how to behave, the Ben Ish
Chai offers an empowering cry for autonomy: study the stories yourself, and
reach your own conclusion (it is fascinating that this is a choice Jewish law
makes often in the realm of the ethical, and rarely in the realm of ritual…).
He avoids giving strict moral guidance, and instead offers a moral education,
hinting that each person must go through their own journey of studying and
encountering the detailed dilemmas of differentiating right and wrong, truth
and lie, for themselves.
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Next week, Yaakov will turn into
Yisrael. The conniving anklegrabber will find the courage to become a
face-to-face confronter, as he struggles with an angel and is granted a new
name:
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“Not as
Yaakov/Heel-Sneak shall your name be henceforth uttered, but rather
Yisrael/God-Fighter, for you have fought with God and men and have
prevailed.” (Genesis 32:29)
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וַיֹּאמֶר: לֹא יַעֲקֹב
יֵאָמֵר עוֹד שִׁמְךָ, כִּי אִם-יִשְׂרָאֵל: כִּי-שָׂרִיתָ עִם-אֱלֹהִים
וְעִם-אֲנָשִׁים, וַתּוּכָל.בראשית לב:כט
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Perhaps Yaakov needed to go through
his own biographical education into the depths of deceit in order to
establish his own commitment to truth. For the Ben Ish Chai it is the stories
of the Talmud that help him design a life of truth amid the occasional need
to deceive. As we try and walk the “straight and narrow” ourselves, we must
make use of the resources that our biographies and cultures give us, being “punctilious
in learning these scenarios ourselves” as well as sharing the stories that
were helpful to us, with those who walk alongside us. There will be moments
when we might find ourselves still being Yaakov’s, let’s hope
it will only be a step on the way to being Yisrael.
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Shabbat
Shalom,
Mishael
Read this, past and future BYFI Divrei
Torah on our Blog: Text and the
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