We
live in an age where speech has as instantaneous global reach and our private information
is being peddled in the public square. The intimacy of face to face conversation has become rare, for we do most of
our “speech” in front of screens instead of faces. With speech so deeply
transformed and information so disembodied a discussion of the ethics of speech
is most necessary: how do we sensitize ourselves to use speech and information wisely?
These
questions of speech and intimacy are explored in a short story at the end of Parshat Beha’lotcha:
Miriam and Aaron “speak” about Moses behind his back. God reprimands Aaron and
Miriam for speaking about Moshe, inflicting Miriam with leprosy. Moshe prays
for her to be healed, but Miriam is still forced out of the camp for seven
days.
This
episode leaves many questions for the reader to explore: Why is only Miriam
punished? What exactly were these siblings saying about their brother? Why
leprosy, and what is it about gossip that its retribution is banishment?
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| Norman Rockwell, The Gossips (1948) |
Tractates
about gossip can often become a moralistic exercise in finger-wagging. But the
Talmud in Tractate Arakhin invests an effort in the definitions of Lashon
haRa not in order to prohibit all speech, but rather in order to sensitize
the learner to the dynamics of social interactions. This deeper awareness in
turn would engender a more careful approach to the use of speech and
information about others. We’ll look at three highlights from this discussion,
in an attempt to glean some useful insights:
1 - What
constitutes Lashon haRa?
Rabbah said: For example [to say]’There is heating in the
house of So-and-so.’
Said
Abaye: What does such talk do? It is merely giving information! Rather
Lashon haRa is only when one utters those words in a malicious fashion: ‘Where
else should there be heating if not in the house of So-and-so? There is always
meat and fish…’.
Rabbah said: Whatsoever is said in the presence of the
person concerned is not considered Lashon hara. Said Abaye
to him: But [saying something in their presence about them] is even worse: rudeness
and Lashon haRa! Rabbah answered: I hold with R. Yosi, for R. Yosi
said: I have never said a word and had to look behind my back.
Rabbah
son of R. Huna
said: Whatever is said in the presence of three is not considered Lashon
haRa. (Talmud Bavli Arakhin
15b-16B)
For
Abaye, information must be used with a malicious intent to be
problematic, no matter the context – Lashon haRa. For Rabbah, it
is not the intent, but the simple fact of talking about people behind their
back, the peddling in people’s information with impunity - Rechilut. The
key for Rabbah is the absence of the other. Looking at the text of the
Biblical story of Miriam and Aaron’s gossip, we can see how the theme of the
bond of two versus three is stressed:
“Miriam
spoke, and Aaron, against Moshe …Suddenly the Lord called to Moshe,
Aaron, and Miriam: “Come out, you three, to the Tent of Meeting.” So
the three of them went out. The Lord came down in a pillar of cloud,
stopped at the entrance of the Tent, and called out, “Aaron and Miriam!”
The two of them came forward. (Numbers 12)
The
game of in and out, two and three, becomes clearer when leprosy is considered by
the Talmud as the retribution for gossip:
2 - R. Samuel ben Elnadav asked of
R. Hanina[…]: Wherein is the leper different that the Torah said: “He
shall dwell alone; without the camp shall his dwelling be?“ Because he [by his gossip]
separated a husband from his wife, a man from his neighbor, therefore
the Torah said: ‘He shall dwell alone’. (Talmud Bavli Arakhin 15b-16B)
Gossip
is an act of separation and banishment from the normal, splitting up other
people’s intimacy and creating a new intimacy with yourself at the center. Gossip
is so satisfying because it creates a new intimacy and bond. The punishment of
leprosy reverses this act: it is not the target of our gossip who is scaly and
contagiously disgusting – it is we who bear the sign of shame. We tried to
forge a false intimacy, and are instead banished ourselves from relationship.
Ouch.
Thankfully,
our Talmudic discussion ends with a redemptive outlet:
3 - R. Hama b. Hanina said: What is
the remedy for gossipers? If they are scholars, let them engage in the Torah,
as it is said: “The healing for a tongue is the tree of life”. (Talmud Bavli Arakhin 15b-16B)
Learning
and scholarship are the reversal of gossip because learning is also about
peddling information, taking information out of one context and placing it in a
new context where it will thrive and grow in value. However the goal of
disseminating scholarship is see the infinite possibility in creation, not to
maliciously see the limitations in those that surround us. It is about creating
bonds of presence, not in order to push others out, but in order to create a
world where intimacy is valued and relationships can be based on trust and
mutual respect.As our ability to peddle in information – our own and others –
becomes so greatly available to us, we must sensitize ourselves to the delicate
nature of intimacy, and use our ability to spread information in a way that creates
a tree of life.
These ideas were germinated by a comment my teacher, Moshe Halbertal,
made seven years ago about gossip and false intimacy. My havruta overheard the
comment, and “gossiped” it to me. For a year we peddled in this information,
studying about gossip (and occasionally partaking in it too). These ideas are
the joint outcome of these discussions.
For those who are interested, I’ve appended the verses themselves:
Miriam and Aaron Gossiping | Numbers Chapter 12
